Logan Wolfram

Enjoying Life for Dessert

I Will You To Do This…

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This weekend, we left our kids with my parents and going on a trip.
I had you at “leaving our kids with my parents” didn’t I?!
It’s the first time that we’ve left Little Bit overnight since he was born. He is 16 months old now. I get called out of church nursery almost weekly because he pitches a fit. Remember not long ago I got called out of church because he had pitched a fit…and then later, I pitched a fit too?  Yeah, I’ve had some concerns about leaving him overnight.
My parents are great and my kids love them. Mom is super creative and fun, and my dad loves taking them to the Science Center to explore. They’ll have a wonderful time I know. But it’s still hard.
The Hubs and I have actually really been looking forward to a 7 hour car drive. Seven hours in a car without kids is way more like what “road trips” used to be…fun, an adventure, good quality time together. But then there’s the business of the “what if you die” thing.
Yeah, that’s completely unawesome to have to think about or talk about in every way. But we’ve never actually done a living will. Have you?
It’s one of those things that everyone talks about, but how many of us have actually taken the time to sit down and do it? Maybe you’re more thorough than I am…you probably are.
So on the way to Washington, DC I clinked out a really rough email on my phone that basically said what to do with our kids, money, and debts if we died. I’m sure that it’s not good enough. Thankfully, the Hubs’ dad is a lawyer and he quickly turned that 5 sentence email into an official document that should serve the purpose, if heaven help us, it needed to.
But I thought that if you out there haven’t ever done this before (and don’t have the Hubs’ dad to fix your poorly constructed will for you,) you might like a link to an easy way to fill out a living will that a friend sent me awhile back. (I know, I know…I’ve had it but STILL haven’t done it.) You can do this at home without the help of a lawyer, even though I’ve been told it’s best to eventually really iron things out with legal advice. Still, it’s better to have something in place that would stand up in a court than nothing at all.
So here you go…for your filling out pleasure….in case you kick the bucket. Your Last Will and Testament 
– Logan

Circus Monkey

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I am a big fat slacker this week. Sorry for the complete lack of posting. I’ve been trying to write the next installment of the Glory Babies post but I tell you what, it’s not coming easy. It’s a long story to write and the reality is that I need to sit down and write a lot of it at one time…this broken up stuff is for the birds.
The Hubs was gone all week at a training in Atlanta, so I was doing the single parenting thing. If you remember, the last time that he was gone I wrote a post giving MAJOR props to single parents. Yeah, gonna go ahead and give you another “whoop whoop” shout out here people…it’s tough! All to say, between laundry, keeping my house in order, sneaking in some time with friends, and falling into bed at night…blogging has gotten pushed down on the list of things my brain could actually handle this week.
It’s been a good week though…just busy. In some really hilarious news, Little Bit now smiles on command. When he does it, I seriously want to suck his cheeks. And I’ve yet to actually capture the exact hilarious cheese-face smile on camera…this is as close as I could get. (it’s not nearly as tooth bearing or squinty eyed enough to look like the actual smile he does on command though.) I love my little circus monkey!

Put your Money Where Your Mouth is… or NOT!

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I’m taking a couponing class.

I have tried doing coupons in the past to help with my grocery bill, but I’ve given up because of the time commitment or because I don’t want to buy things like Glade Plug-ins and Totino’s Pizza rolls all of the time….or kitty litter…boy are there coupons out there for kitty litter!

My friend Tiffany is teaching a class at my church and I feel so inspired to maximize my savings when she’s talking.  To get $238 worth of groceries for $87 makes me so excited…but I haven’t done that yet.  Not even close.

In fact, I spent over 2 hours yesterday just clipping and sorting the stupid coupons, and then another hour and a half trying to figure out how to get more online coupons only to realize that if I want to save all that money, I first need to go to the store and buy $70 dollars worth of printer cartridges to even print them all. 

I haven’t found a coupon for printer cartridges yet either.

You guys all know how I like to cook…I post the recipes on here for crying out loud!  I want to figure out how to buy all of that stuff and save.  I plant my own fresh herbs in the summer so that I don’t have to buy them, and I am pretty good about eating things that are in season to help cut down on some costs, but I have to be honest and say… I think there are a LOT of other things I’d rather be doing.

Mostly, I think I’d rather spend 4 hours painting a dresser like the one I did last week and showed you.  Or I’d rather go on a walk outside.  Or I’d rather get in and out of the grocery store in 35 minutes because I soar through the aisles and get the things on my list.  And I don’t know that I want to have to stockpile 6 boxes of cereal (and find room to store them) that I may or may not be in the mood to eat over the next 6 week couponing cycle.  And I don’t think that I want to spend the small pockets of time without my kids going to the grocery store just so I can spend 2 hours of uninterrupted shopping and couponing.  The truth is…I just don’t know that I’m cut out for cutting out… coupons.

But the fact of the matter is that around this house, we “eat our money” if you know what I mean. 

If I can figure out how to play this couponing game, I might have more money leftover for things like buying more of Annie Sloan’s chalk paint and refinishing more furniture.  Or maybe I’ll get my laundry room done sooner because it’ll be easier to save since I will be spending less.  Somewhere in all this dastardly couponing business, I KNOW there has to be something good….or else, why would people do it?! And I wish I could say that just saving would be enough for me…but the truth is, if I save it…it’s because I’m planning to do something else more fun with it. 

Dave Ramsey would hate me…but I do really wish I was more financially organized.

So if you’re here because you think I might ever have great tips for couponing…you better start praying for my sorry unsaving little tookis right now…and maybe, just maybe I’ll get the hang of this thing eventually!

Here’s to hoping that I can stop “putting my money where my mouth is” in this case and become more of the Savvy Spender that my class is trying so hard to teach me how to be!

Back That Thing Up!

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Something ridiculous is going on with the Blogger platform right now, and as a result it appears that I may have lost the last couple of posts that I’ve done…and so now I’m just gonna say it….CRAP!

I wanted to link that pretty Beatrice dresser that I just showed you yesterday to Miss Mustard Seed’s Furniture Feature Friday today, and now who knows where it is in cyberspace today.  Thanks Blogger…thanks a lot!  #MassiveFail

I’m a little fearful to write anything else today, but in the instance that you get the feed of my blog, can you copy and paste the last 2 posts for me into an email and send it to LifeforDessert at gmail dot com please?

I just learned an important blogging lesson today, and that is “Back that thing up!” Really though, I didn’t know you had to back-up web content.  I’m an electronic dufus, it’s a wonder I’m even getting these posts done at all!  I could probably use a little dose of this…

The Ideal Brain Tonic…for just 5 cents!

What a steal!  I promise, I’ll get back to our regularly scheduled programming as soon as I can! 🙂

The picture above was just something to throw in so you didn’t feel completely cheated today!  Of course, that stellar family shot was taken by Kim Deloach Photography…I’m loyal to the core to that woman I tell you!

Refinishing a Dresser….it’s easier than you think!

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I’m kicking myself.  Once again I did a piece of furniture without a before picture.  I swore I had taken one though, but apparently I didn’t.  I’ve checked 2 cameras and my phone…nothing.  SO just imagine with me would you?

This dresser, but just plain wood.  Pretty color stain though…dark…walnuttish, but seriously bubbled up from being out in a hot barn for too many years.  I don’t know why this was in a hot barn…it’s gorgeous!  And it was in a set…there’s a bed and a desk that went with it.  I talked my friend T into buying the other pieces for her little girl in their new house…I can’t wait to see it in a little girl’s room.  I was obsessed with this dresser though, so she kept 2 pieces and I got this one.

I painted it with a grayish oops paint that I found for $2.50/qt.  I have absolutely no idea what color this was…but it looks bluer in this picture than it actually is.  It’s definitely got blue in it, but not this much.  (And I did take the hardware off to paint…I put all the pulls back on though to use this as a drink stand for our Easter Egg Hunt.)

I’d painted this first coat on before I learned about Annie Sloan’s Chalk paint which I just ordered some of yesterday for my next project.  With the Chalk Paint you don’t have to sand or prime…you just paint and distress and wax…and it’s all non toxic.  It’s not as cheap as my oops paint by a long shot though.  But with 2 little kids at home…time is money, and it takes a LOT more time for me to sand and prime than is worth the money to me.  So next up is this china cabinet…. It’s gonna see some chalk paint love and I cannot wait!

Ok, so back to this dresser.  I think I’ll name it Beatrice…sounds like a pretty old name for a pretty old gal, and it’s the first name that just came to my mind when I looked at it.

I took the drawers out and dry brushed everything in Benjamin Moore Moon Shadow…which is sort of a pale creamy taupe-ish gray (and I already had some of it.)

After I lightly drybrushed everything, I then went back and sanded to distress.  This piece I really concentrated on the edges of the drawers and the higher relief areas what would get bumped when opening and closing.  When you sand across everything, it softens the look of your drybrushing as well… which I, for one, really like.

After the sanding, then on this piece I used Minwax Walnut stain and brushed it on and wiped most of it right back off immediately.  I do this part in really small sections so that the stain doesn’t dry (it happens fast, so I brush on with one hand and off with the other with a rag.  Mr Miyagi would be proud…I have some serious “wax on, wax off” motions going when I’m doing this.

So here’s how 2 of the drawers turned out.  

I did concentrate more of the Moon Shadow on this gorgeous  raised scrolly part to really make it stand out.  I also did the same thing on some detail work on the sides which you can see here below as well. 

Look at the way that the bubbling of the finish from before turned out when it was painted, sanded, and stained….oh my words…it is UH-mazing!  Thank you to the previous owner who’s neglect made Beatrice that much more beautiful!

And here she is…all done.  Beatrice is by far my most favorite piece that I’ve refinished…probably why she is the first one I’ve bothered naming.

Try not to notice the lamp cord under there…I just tossed her into the guest room and didn’t mess with things like lamp cords before I took the picture.  I know…that’s not any way to treat a lady!
Tomorrow I’ll get back to my story from earlier this week.

Glory Babies…Part 2

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First of all I want to say thank you to all of you for your kinds comments, words, and emails about yesterday’s post.  So many of you have called me things like “courageous and brave” for sharing my story, and while I want to thank you for that…I want to say….I’m not courageous or brave.  I am someone who has walked a path that frankly just sucks…and for some reason it’s a path that so many people want to sweep under the rug or come up with reasons that “these things happen” to make it go away.  I want to talk about it…I NEED to talk about it.  I know that I’m not the only person who has ever suffered this kind of loss and more than that, if you have suffered it too, I NEED for you to know that you are not alone.  Did you hear that?

You, my friend, are not alone.
As I type, I have tears forming in the corners of my eyes because I know that loneliness all too well.  I have the most amazing friends that any person could ever ask for, and more than is even normal, I know.  But when this happened in my life, there wasn’t anyone of those dear women close around me who knew what I was feeling at the time. 
It’s not just loneliness from not walking with other’s who have gone through it.  It’s a deep sadness and loneliness because you feel so overcome with grief for someone you never even had the chance to know.  And that’s just part of it too…the loss of a chance to know someone who was already special to you.  There’s anger with God over not understanding why He allowed it to happen, there’s tension with your spouse because try as he might, he didn’t have that baby in his tummy…he didn’t have the nausea and the tired and the maternal bonding that you did.  Yes, he loves you well, but he doesn’t understand…and in that time, that misunderstanding feels lonely too.  
People come to your side right when it happens…for a couple of weeks they check up on you, and bring you meals, and send you cards, and ask how you’re doing.  And then…it passes from their minds.  By 6 weeks after, noone is asking anymore.  It’s gone for them….but it never leaves you.  And you feel lonely.  Left with your grief….left with an empty womb…left with and extra 8 pounds on your body that you don’t even have the energy to try to work off.
I write these things not to be brave or courageous….but to say to you who needs to hear it, that you are not alone.  
After I left the doctor’s office on that morning I don’t even really know what I did next.  I think I called my mom from the parking lot before I even left.  I don’t know what I said.  That was on a Thursday.
The next thing I really specifically remember was having to go back to the doctor’s office again on Monday to do another ultrasound to confirm what we knew.  
I prayed like mad that the Lord would do a miracle.  That when I went back there would be a heartbeat.  I know someone that happened to….I knew it could happen for me.
It didn’t.
At the doctor’s office what we saw was a womb collapsing around a tiny baby.  No blinking heartbeat…no life left.
On Tuesday I went in for a D&C.  Because of the size of the baby, the doctor said it could be a long time before my body would naturally “pass” it.
I need to say something right here too, and I have to say it because it’s what I believe and in my story it’s part of what I personally struggled with…but I don’t agree with abortion…ever, for any reason.  I don’t say this to stir up controversy, but I need you to understand that my heart beats for life…my heart beats for the unborn, and I believe that God’s heart does too.
I knew that a D&C was the same procedure used for abortion and I couldn’t get my life-loving arms around that process being done to my baby.   The baby that I wanted. That my baby would come out in tiny pieces instead of as a whole, perfect, beautiful human being was irreconcilable to me for awhile after it was done.  But I do realize why it was necessary for my health.
I also want to make sure to say here to anyone who ever has had an abortion, I love you.  God loves you.  You are not alone either, and there is restoration for you too for any broken pieces of your heart.  You are not an awful person, you are a beautiful creation of a loving and forgiving God, and he holds your babies in the same arms that he holds mine.  He holds you and me in those arms too.  He has big, generous, loving, and forgiving arms.
The last thing that I remember before the medicine took effect and I was no longer conscious of anything was a sweet nurse standing over me holding my hands saying “I’m right here, I won’t leave you” over and over and over again.  
I think the Lord wanted me to hear that…to know that…and to cling to those words over the next months.
Deuteronomy 31:6,8 -Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you… The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”

Fascinator Giveaway Winner!

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Congratulations to comment #23 on the Fascinator Fascination post belonging to Rachael! 

You have won the Fascinator from Fascinate Me!  You have 48 hours from the time stamp of this post to email me at LifeforDessert at gmail dot com with your email address and shipping address so that I can pass it along with your choice of the Diamond White Nymph Fascinator to the fabulously talented Joanne of Fascinate Me!

Congratulations Rachael and thanks to everyone for entering!  I hope to have another fun giveaway soon, so stay tuned and pass Life for Dessert on to your friends!

Glory Babies…Part 1

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I loved Mother’s Day yesterday.  A day where everyone recognizes moms everywhere for all that we are and all that we do.  It’s nice to have a day like that because as much as we all love it, being a mother is hard.

Wanting to be a mother and having difficulty with that, well, that is hard too.  And that is a reality that I can understand as well.

Two years ago on Mother’s Day, our church dedicated 33 babies.  33!  That is a lot of babies.  And some of those dedications were of my friends’ children.  It was a day of rejoicing in the gift of being a mother and the gift of life.

I cried during the whole thing.

I was happy for my friends, but inside I felt like I was stuck in quicksand all the way up to my neck.  It was the hard-to-breathe kind of cry that you never really want to do at all, much less in public.

Yes, I have 2 healthy children now for whom I’m eternally thankful.  But what you may not realize about me is that I actually am the mother of 4 children.  Two of those children went to be with Jesus before I ever got to hold them.  Hunter and Bess…my babies in heaven.  They have faces that I do not know, and names that the Lord gave me after they were with Him.  They are counted among the people that I have lost in my life.  And with loss comes grief…and eventually with loss comes healing.

This story isn’t short, and as I begin to tell you about it, it’s not one that is a one post kind of story either.  But it’s my story and part of who I am.  I will never be thankful for the loss or the grief, but I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that the Lord has turned what the enemy intended for destruction in my life into something good.

There’s just something about being a mother.  And even before you have children, you know that it’s special.  Noone has to tell you that there is joy in being a mother for you to know it, or to want it.

Tid Bit was the most normal pregnancy possible.  We got pregnant just 3 months after stopping birth control…easy peasy.  I felt tired when the books said I’d feel tired and I felt energetic when they said I’d have surges of energy.  My appointments were routine, and I learned how to pee in a cup like a champ.  I never went into that office with any doubts or fears about anything…ever during that entire time.  He was born right on his due date and aside from an unplanned but necessary c-section, everything was perfect. 

I got pregnant again in August when he was 16 months old…the very first month off of birth control.

On October 31st, 2007 we bought a minivan.

The Hubs is super tall and even in our spacious Honda Pilot there wasn’t room behind his seat for him to drive and to have a carseat with a kid in it.  He sits all the way back and either Tid Bit’s legs would be crammed or we didn’t have room to have a rear facing carseat behind him.

I never wanted a minivan, but it was the only thing that wasn’t a gas guzzler that had enough room behind the driver’s seat for mutiple kids.  And in no time, we’d be filling that van up with another.

I finished filling out the paperwork and buying our van after 5pm on that day…and I drove it home expectantly…looking behind me imagining 2 little people in the back.

The next morning I had my 12 week ultrasound.  Everything had been great for the pregnancy.  Things looked normal, the heartbeat at our previous appointment was strong.  I felt tired, but good.

The Doppler on my stomach was having some trouble picking up the heartbeat.  I know that even at 12 weeks, it can be hard to pick up the heartbeat clearly, but when the nurse said “I think it’ll be easier to just go to the ultrasound room to check it out,” I had a sinking feeling.  A dear friend had just a couple of months before had the same thing happen and everything was fine.  Tiny heartbeats can just be hard to pick up sometimes.

I tried to slow my heartbeat and push the worry out of my mind.  And as I lay back and watched the ultrasound monitor, I didn’t see the tiny blinking that I’d seen when I was pregnant with Tid Bit.  Everything on the screen was still….and I knew.

I started to cry before the doctor even said the words “This has just happened in the last 24 hours.  Your baby is measuring 11wks and 6 days.  This JUST happened.”

Numbness….

Tears….

Numbness….

And then a walk outside to a minivan I never wanted but thought I needed.

Mother’s Day can be hard.  I know.  It reminds you what you want but may not have…or have lost.

I’ll tell you more of this story throughout this week.

You might be a mother if…

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This morning while emptying out the contents of my purse in order to make room for the camera to take pictures of Little Bit’s dedication, I came across the following…

Yes, that is a partially eaten three day old hotdog in the instance that you were wondering. I wrapped it up at dinner the other night in case Little Bit was still hungry later…I think the time for “later” to eat that has well passed now though!

I just had to laugh about it…because no one but a mother would wrap up a partially eaten hot dog and shove it into the depths of their personals bag…right alongside car keys, sunglasses, grocery lists, changes of clothes, crayons, and the list goes on…and on!

I thought I’d take this opportunity to think of a few other little gems to add to the treasures in the “you might be a mother if…” category.

You might be a mother if….

  • You have ever popped at home and smuggled into the movie theater an entire bag of dairy free popcorn so that your allergic child can have popcorn during a movie.
  • You regularly defy the laws of gravity during any family car trip by crawling back and forth from the front seat of the car to the back to make sure that each passenger has all the snacks, coloring books, movies, drinks, etc that they may need….every 6 minutes.
  • You can make trail mix…just by cleaning the floor of your car.
  • You have ever realized that the burning from rubbing your eye was the result of a stray particle of poop that had gotten on your hand during a diaper change.
  • You have ever climbed to the top of any fast food playground, even though they are expressly for individuals who are less than 44inches tall.
  • Alone time has been narrowed to just your time in the shower.
  • You rarely ever have the luxury of peeing without a tiny audience.
  • You buy bathing suits made for “active” lifestyles in an effort not to be the family beach peep show when you are holding a struggling toddler.
  • You regularly wipe a child’s nose with nothing but your bare hand…or the hem of your shirt.
  • You have had pee, boogers, poop, and throw up all end up on you…in one day.
  • You traded in your BMW 328i convertible to end up one day with a minivan.
  • You now wonder how you ever survived without a minivan.
  • At the end of a realization of all of the ridiculous things that you find yourself doing and saying that you always swore you wouldn’t do or say…you find that you wouldn’t trade any of it for the world…

You just might be a mother.

The other day I was thinking about all of the things that I wanted to do for myself and by myself for Mother’s Day…that this day was going to be the day that I could finally catch a break and be alone for a bit. I was thinking about how much I have “earned” a day like that.

Tid Bit had a Mother’s Day tea at his school on Friday, and honestly, I felt guilty for feeling all those things. I looked at pictures of my now 5 year old and saw summed up in 10 minutes, a slideshow of all the changes that have occurred, even in just the look of his face, over this past year…and suddenly I found myself already missing this little boy who will be grown for far more time than he will be small.

I read it all the time from women who must be far better than I…from women who either know the value of this time more because it has passed for them, or from women who must somehow do a better job embracing the right here and now than I do.  But I do try…I know these days are precious, even though oftentimes they are hard.  And every time I read something about valuing these days…treasuring this time…holding close these small hands and hearts, I think, “she is so right…I will miss this.”

The truth is that I already do.

So this Mother’s day, if you are a mother, I encourage you to focus not on all that you do and have done…because we all know that is a hefty and applaudable list.  Let us focus on what we have been given in this role of Mom. Hands to hold, boogies to wipe on our shirts, tears to wipe with our hugs, lives to shape with our influence…because THAT my friends is a gift that no one can ever buy or give to us.

Proverbs 31:28 ” her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her saying ” many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.”

Happy Mother’s Day friends…if you are a mother…I hope you enjoyed it. If you have a mother…rise up and bless her…not just today.

PS.  For those of you who aren’t mothers yet, but wish to be…I know that this day has probably been hard for you.  I’ve been there too.  And I think that tomorrow I will tell you more about that.

How to Test Doneness of Steak (a trick)….

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I worked as a line cook in a really fantastic restaurant in college for a semester and then for a period of time after I graduated too.  The best things I learned there have stuck with me over time…things like how to cut an onion, some great information about using spices, how to make homemade chicken stock, and more.  This particular trick is one I’ve shared with lots of friends.  Summer is a great time for throwing steaks on the grill, but nothing is worse looking than serving up a steak with multiple slices in the middle testing for doneness.  The chef I worked under (all I remember was that we all called him Red) taught me this trick and now I’m going to teach it to you.

Hold out your hand with your fingers facing you.  You’re going to touch your thumb and each different finger together… and each time, you are going to press on your thumb muscle with your other hand (where I’ll show “Press Here.”) With each finger change, it’ll feel different.  It’s easier to show you than to try to just explain.

So check this out…

When you press on your muscle here it’ll feel kinda mushy and depress easily.  If you touch your steak on the grill and it feels like this, your steak will be rare when you take it off and cut it.

Ok, so for this one you touch your pointer finger to your thumb and press the muscle where I’ve circled.  Notice I’m not super mashing my fingers together…you just touch them and it’ll work out great.  For a Medium Rare steak it’ll feel like this…depress a little but definitely more firmness and less give than the rare steak.

This is how I like my steak (or somewhere between this and medium rare, but that’s getting a bit advanced for the hand trick.)  Touch your thumb to your middle finger and then press on the thumb muscle.  It’s definitely firmer now, but still some give…now you have a Medium cooked steak!

Thumb to ring finger and you’ll have Medium Well!  Firm now, but it will still look like steak and taste like steak.

Honestly, I don’t even think the hand trick matters at this point.  If you like your meat well done, I hope you don’t buy really good meat or you’re totally ruining it when you cook every last germ and drop of blood out of it.  My advice…be vegetarian if you like steak this way.

But, if you insist on eating overcooked and tough meat, this trick is the one for you….thumb to pinky finger and you have Well Done.  And if you’re still unsure, cook it some more…you’re not going to really overdo it now….you already committed this far….go for the char and “Git ‘Er Done!”

 So that’s it.  I think it’s a pretty great trick, and unless you have a massively over-developed or atrophied thumb muscle, this should work for you.

Sorry I didn’t hire a hand model for this one.  And yes, these are my very own overworked, underpaid, never manicured paws.    Many thanks to Louis Lunsford from high school who told me that I have “man hands.”  So there you have it folks…manly woman hands teaching you how to cook a steak!

Now get grilling!

I’m linking up at The Stories of A to Z Tips and Tutorials Tuesday!