Like sands through the hourglass….so are the days of our lives!
First off, I’m admiting to you that in college I watched this show. What a colossal un-doing of all that higher learning I was there for! LOL!
But the quote is true isn’t it? Time passes fast. I love that and I hate that. And, somewhere in there sometimes, the days begin to feel like sand passing through…just passing, and it’s easy to forget all the life itself that’s actually doing the passing. And some days are just plain days aren’t they?
It feels like “one of those days” today.
I don’t know why. It’s gorgeous outside. My kids have been pretty good (other than when I was on the phone with the insurance company and Tid Bit kept asking me stuff.) I’ve gotten some things done around the house. But still, it just feels like one of those days.
I keep thinking that I need about 2 days where I don’t have to do anything for anyone. I want to be completely selfish and sleep when I want, eat when and what I want, sew if I want to, make jewelry if I want to, shop just because I want to. I want to go and try on clothes for a few hours that I don’t even care about buying. Well…maybe buy a couple of things, but I just want to have the time to figure out what clothes I even like anymore. I don’t want to just grab something that looks cute on the mannequin, who is 4 sizes smaller than me with no boobs, and think “let’s hope this works on me too so that I don’t have to drag my kids out again to return it.”
DO YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?!
I love my life. I love my husband. I love my kids. But I really feel myself getting to the point where I just need some time for myself. And not just in a 3 hour chunk. I mean, like 2 WHOLE DAYS!
You know that you are reaching this point when you consider weaning just so you can get it. The time I mean. When you feel less patient, more tired, more easily set off, more selfish about the tiny things here and there.
Mothering is the MOST selfless thing I’ve ever done. I think those of you who are moms out there would agree. But have mercy… after awhile of day in and out, hour in and out, meal in and out, laundry in and out, cleaning up and down and all around, shuttling to and fro, fixing this and that….I need to find me again.
So I guess that’s why despite the amazingness of today’s weather, it’s still “one of those days.”
Like sands through the hourglass huh?
– Logan
Please for heaven’s sake…comment today?! To make me feel better, and because I want to hear that I’m not the only person who finds myself feeling like this 13 amazing and exhausting months after having my last baby!
OH no…. I already feel like this sometimes and I don't even have a baby yet. Thanks for being so honest and writing about what we all feel some days. Even as a newlywed, I catch myself wondering why some days just feel so "normal." (I guess somehow I thought they'd all feel magical and romantic.) But I guess without these uneventful, slightly restless days, we'd never appreciate the really really great ones!
You're awesome and refreshing to read! I never miss a post, by the way 😉
YAY! That you never miss a post I mean. I wonder really a lot of the time if anyone actually cares what I write.
And yes…some days just feel like plain sand don't they? You forget that your sand is on an amazing beach and you fixate on that one plain grain…and discontent sets in. And so you figure out how to battle it, and you look up at the beach, and you pray…ALOT. And eventually the clouds roll back and the blue sky that was hidden behind them is still there…and you breathe in fresh air and wiggle your feet around in all the good sand they're sitting on, and the plain grain isn't so bad anymore. But that doesn't mean, that sometimes you just need a little fresh wind to blow back that cloud!
Oh, Loges!
Thanks for writing this! You describe exactly how I been feeling today (and perhaps yesterday), but didn't have the energy to put it into words. Will have to let Thomas read this post and hope he can understand why I am being to mopey tonight!
Hey Logan- wonderfully said and you're definitely battling something real and mighty that exists in all of us. Bless you for being aware of your "mom heart" needs- answer the call!!! I completely understand the 2 day thing- I have fantasies about it:) I don't think I've ever had our house to myself for more than 2 hours- isn't that crazy? And those 3 hour chunks of time to cram things in can be just as stressful as when the littles are with us except that you don't have to be fearful of losing one or damaging something in the store. But I know that this time of life is so short and I try to inhale the minutes and hours while they are here and present.
I'm so glad we got the chance to talk tonight- God works in magical ways and I'm so happy to have been placed in the midst of such a great group of women and moms.