Some days, being a good parent makes you feel like an ass.
Today is one of those days.
One of those days where you find yourself in the place where you hoped with all of your might you wouldn’t find yourself in at all. But you’re there…and you have to do the hard thing…because it’s what you said you’d do.
Image Source Ringling.com
You have to tell your 5 year old that he won’t be allowed to join the family to go to the circus… because he got in trouble at school… again.
We expect better from him. His teacher expects better from him. He’s VERY capable of being obedient and self controlled….it just seems he’s choosing not to be at school lately. And I understand how my parents felt when they actually said the words “this hurts me more than it hurts you.”
It does.
I’m crying about it too. I’m sad that we can’t do something all together that I’ve been looking forward to doing since we went 2 years ago after my littlest guy was first born. I’m sad that he’ll probably remember this consequence forever…I have a few like this that I still remember from when I was a kid. I guess at least we’re willing to pay for counseling when he needs it as an adult…it’s the least we can do to cover up our failures. But I think this isn’t a failure…it’s the right thing to do…the hard thing…to keep our word so that he knows, no matter how many times we say it….we mean what we say and for better or worse, he can trust our word.
It’s important to be a person of your word. Letting your “yes” be your “yes”…and your “no” be your “no.” Even when it sucks.
And I have to hope and pray that somewhere in all of this, he learns integrity….that doing what we say is important and valuable. That the way we behave does often change what we have the opportunity to do. And that often in life…so often in life…we don’t get second chances.
But for today…I’m sad and I feel like an ass…even if I know that the reason I feel like an ass is the right thing to do.
So….anyone else? What’s the hardest right decision you’ve had to make that leaves you feeling awful? Comment below and help a girl feel a little less awful?
The Sad Clown by Aiden Ivanov
PS. The winner from the Stampin’ Up Valentine’s Giveaway is…
entry #5 Laura Pieratt
Laura, you have 48 hours to email me at Logan at LifeForDessert dot com with your address and email address to claim your prize and I’ll let Beth know where to send the gift pack! Congratulations and thanks for entering!
You are doing him a favor. Circuses are filled with the most evil, Godless creatures in the world. Clowns. Clowns do nothing but inspire fear and haunt the dreams of people their entire lives. They are agents of universal evil. In fact it was well known that Kim Jong Il had an entire brigade of clown assassins ready to infiltrate the Ringling Brothers in early 2005. This was stopped quickly because when questioned they said the were “crowns”. Seriously though, I went to a dodgers game one time and got the bubbleguts and couldn’t hold it till I got back to the hotel. Having to poo in a baseball stadium is the hardest thing in the world.
Oh my friend….you are a mess! Wish I could believe you, but he actually loves clowns! 🙂
No one loves clowns. save for John Wayne Gacy. Don’t wanna be responsible for another one of those do ya? You did the right thing.
I am proud of you for doing what you said you would do. Tough as it may be for you we all just have to look around and we can see how many children (young adults also) never learned what no, do not do, what we expext of you, etc, really means. When he is an adult he will remember (with a smile) this consequence for his actions.
I am proud of you. It is hard not to give in especially on something so special and important to him. I do think it will pay off later!
We had to do that a couple halloweens ago. Graeme was in K5 and had hit a kid for the 2nd time in a week. He had been anxiously awaiting Halloween… picked out his Bumblebee costume, and was going with some families from church that we are very close to. So, i pick him up after school on Halloween and find out about the “incident” and we had to take away trick or treating. So his friends got to go out and trick or treat and Graeme and I stayed home and he had to help me pass out candy to others… one of the hardest things I ever had to do but he still remembers it. I know it was the right thing but I felt horrible.
You ARE doing the right thing. And you are right to ask for support. It can be so hard to go the right way when culture chastises you! Stick to your guns, momma {not literally, of course}! lol.
You are blessing your child by not allowing him to conform to a culture of…. dare I say… spoiled children who run the show.
HUGS!
– {darlene}
Hopefully, he WILL remember this consequence! At least for me, the ones that really hurt and that I remembered are the ones that motivated me to change my behavior! Love you!
Aw Logan, that is really hard, but I think it’s great you are holding true to your word. I think it’ll make a mark on him, and you too unfortunately. I will remember this when the time comes for us to have to make that kind of call. I think you did the right thing. That commenter who wrote bubbleguts made me laugh out loud. Whew!
Don’t feel bad. Parenting is really, really hard. My daughter is 9 and we are always having to take away her tv or DS … cancel big plans as punishment. I think it’s a big step in realizing choices mean dealing with the consequences of those choices. My daughter will say “but I didn’t mean to!” when she comes home with a terrible grade, or “forgets” to do something we’ve told her three times in a row to go do. And I tell her (this is really mean), “Well if I run over someone with my car and didn’t mean to, I’d still have to go to jail!” Oh, the things she will find herself telling her own children!