I’m having a moment.
Blogland is ripe with words that people have selected as their word for 2013, and right now, I’m just struggling.
I took the past week off from writing and working in general as my hubs had taken the week off and we busied ourselves with home improvements and family time. It was great. Christmas was relaxing and sweet.
When we were at church on Christmas Eve, I felt like the Lord told me that a sweet couple we know didn’t have plans for Christmas Eve dinner and that He said to invite them home with us. So I did. And, sure enough…they were headed home for their first Christmas at home by themselves to a last minute dinner of crackers. They excitedly joined us with their precious 3 year old girl, and we enjoyed the evening surprisedly with friends. I love how the Lord is looking out for his children like that. It was a great evening.
Christmas day was a good time with just the 4 of us. There was a bittersweetness too since last year, I found out on Christmas day that I was pregnant. In January of last year, 2012 was looking really pregnant with possibility, and so was my belly. 2012 did birth lots of exciting things for me, but as you know, those things did not include a baby.
So the month has flipped and now it’s a new month and a new year. January 2013.
And I keep trying to think of what this next year holds. There’s a LOT to be sure that I’m excited about. I’ve taken on a much larger role with Allume, I’m heading to Bangladesh with Food for the Hungry in 3 weeks, I’ve got a few other exciting projects up my sleeve, and am hoping that we just might get to move into the house of my dreams if we sell ours here soon. I am BEYOND blessed and thankful for all that is going on in my life this upcoming year. But I would be lying through my teeth if I told you I’m starting this year doing an internal happy dance.
In the past 3 days I’ve spent an evening visiting my friend Melissa in the hospital, as the cancer invading her body is causing some new troubles, and I found out that 2 of my dear friends are pregnant with their 4th babies each. Now, don’t hate me for typing obvious bad in the same sentence as obvious good, but for this mama, the pregnancies of others, while a complete joy to me, do bring the hard with it for this heart. This time last year I was pregnant for my 6th time, and my heart still longs for another baby.
There is SO MUCH GOOD around me right now. There’s so much greatness that I know the Lord has for me and my family in 2013, but make no mistake that no amount of good in our lives can completely erase the hard. I continue to learn to focus on Jesus because He is all that is good. And he makes all things possible. And I don’t know what this year will hold for me in the realm of what God makes possible, but I choose….I CHOOSE to trust that whatever it is, it is good. So this year, I think that I will choose to dwell in Jesus…because to dwell in him IS to dwell in possibility.
Jesus looked at them and said, “With man it is impossible, but not with God. For all things are possible with God.” – Mark 10:27
Because you know what…sometimes there really is a whole world hidden in a clover and we just have to listen to hear it.
Please if you all would be in prayer for my sweet friend Melissa. She’s a warrior, and even warriors get tired. Moses had people holding his arms up when he got tired….so join me to pray and hold Melissa’s arms up. With our God, ALL IS POSSIBLE!
Melissa Deming says
lovely post! thank you for the reminder!
Kristy says
I will never look at that quote the same again. 🙂 You have SUCH a beautiful heart, Logan. xo
Heather MacLaren Johnson says
Thanks for this honest and tender post.
Annie Barnett says
Oh, Logan. I get this – the tension of looking around and holding all those good gifts and aching for all that’s broken and missing all in the same breath. What can we do but just dwell in Jesus, rest in His love, follow His lead? These are the words I painted for my dining room – dwell and abide – and I’m not sure I’ll ever pick another New Year’s “one word” because I have a feeling I’ll spend my whole life sitting right here in the tension of grief and joy, and learning to dwell and abide in Him. I’m grateful for your voice here, and praying for you these January days.
Logan says
I love that Annie. And I think you’re right…I can spend the rest of my life learning how to dwell and abide…and that will take enough and be enough. Love to you friend.
{darlene} says
praying for melissa. and you.
i love you, sweet lady.
Diane W. Bailey says
You are Working so hard to give encouragement to others with one hand, while holding your heart together with the other. You are an amazing woman, Logan. I am blessed to know you. Praying for Melissa.
Logan says
I wish I could say I was so awesome as to just set out to have been encouraging today! The truth is that the Lord has begun processing things with me when I write, so it’s for me as much as for everyone else! 🙂 I just figure if it’s truth I need to hear, chances are, I’m not alone!