When Life Gets Crazy and You Pee in the Tub…..

Oh friends…I had the most hellatious night.  As in, it was so bad that I picked up the “quotable women” book on the back of my toilet at 3am and felt inspired by the words of Roseanne Barr …of all people….

“There’s a lot more to being a woman than being a mother, but there’s a hell of a lot more to being a mother than most people suspect.”

You know things have gotten crazy when Roseanne Barr starts speaking to your soul.

For the first time in my life, I had to call 911 last night.

I’ve told you before that Tid Bit has food allergies.  But over a year ago he was re-tested and no longer tested positive for fish and shellfish, and eggs after 4 years of complete avoidance.  We’ve been enjoying all of those things ever since.

Last night I made this crazy looking pasta for my kids for dinner.  I thought it looked fun.  They did too.

But about 10 minutes after eating it, my 5 year old started sniffling and saying he was itchy.  After about 15 minutes, he started getting hives all over.  20 minutes in his eyes started swelling, he was coughing and his lips turned blue.  I was scared.  My husband was showering him off to see if that calmed him down and I was on the phone with the pediatrician’s office who told me to head to the hospital.

I ran upstairs to the bathroom before taking him to the hospital, and while I was on the can, he came in and standing about 2 feet in front of me started to gag and said he was about to throw up.

This is the part where I feel like Roseanne Barr is inspiring to me….because there is a “hell of a lot more to being a mother than most people suspect.”

You know those moments in life where you think, “If that ever happened to me I don’t know what I’d do?!”  Well…when you’re on the toilet and your kid is about to wretch all over you, you might just jump the heck out of the way like I did and somehow manage to find yourself panicking and simulatenously peeing in the freaking bathtub!  WHAT?!?!?!  I SOOO wish I was kidding.  I don’t know what happened…I just know my kid was sick and he needed where I was more than I did.  I can’t believe I’m even telling you this part, but quite frankly it’s the only comedic relief I can find in the entire ordeal.  Yes friends…I sat on the side, and I straight up peed in the tub.

So…he’s puking, I’m peeing over the edge of the bathtub, my husband is practically tossing our 2 year old into his crib as I’m yelling to tell him that I think we need to call an ambulance.  It’s the stuff real life is made of you know.

Somehow, the Hubs comes in while Tid Bit is throwing up, I run downstairs and can’t believe I’m pressing those dreaded 3 numbers…9-1-1.

The woman on the phone from the dispatch office was phenomenal.  I was holding it together until she told me I needed to use one of these….

Yes friends…that’s an epi-pen.  And if you’ve never had to see one then count yourself lucky.  I’ve considered myself lucky to only have to refill the prescription every year without having to ever actually use it.  The sweet voice on the other end of the line though told me to use it and I started to cry.  You basically have to slam the thing into your child’s thigh and hold it there for 10 seconds while the medicine dispenses. And if there was ever any doubt, 10 seconds is a freaking eternity!

I got the needle and was proceeding towards my little man when I heard the siren of the ambulance.  He was crying and scared, I was crying and scared, and with help within earshot, I waited the next 45 seconds until they got to my door.  Literally it was maybe 3-4 minutes from the time I hung up with 911 until there were paramedics running across my lawn to help us.  And ps. those paramedics will be getting some kind of goodies from us this week.  They were amazing….I give them a big stinking standing ovation.

Before the medics arrived, my hubs was praying over our son and blessing him, and by the time they came downstairs from the puking, my baby’s feet and lips were no longer blue.  The paramedics checked him out and said that the Benadryl my husband gave him was keeping things from getting crazier.  His oxygen levels were good, his skin was seeing signs of improvement, and despite a fast heartbeat (which was to be expected) they said that we could probably just keep a close eye on him over night.

So we put him in our bed and did just that.

But the night wasn’t over.  I guess that our baby must have recognized all the stress going on when we put him in his bed because he ended up being awake….wide freaking awake…from 11pm-3am.  He was crying and yelling and wanting to get up and “weed books, eye awww done, pway, toys, see brudder.”  So my Hubs and I alternated back and forth trying to get him to bed between sessions of trying to let him cry it out.  So at 3am when I read Roseanne Barr….it’s really no wonder I found her full of wisdom.

Being a mother takes me places I’d never have thought possible…emotionally, spiritually, and physically….and while I would really like to get a good night sleep tonight, never again feed my kids weird blue squid ink colored pasta or have to call an ambulance… and I sure as heck would prefer to not pee in my tub again….I still wouldn’t trade this journey called motherhood for anything.

**I’m adding this question after my original posting of this, but I was wondering….What’s a crazy thing you’ve found yourself doing that you’d have never imagined for the sake of your kids?  Ready…Go!