Some tips…for Airline Travel

Sorry for my silence over the past few days.  We headed out to Texas to visit the Hubs’ family for a few days and I didn’t have any access to the computer while I was there.  It was a fast and furious trip with 2 days of full travel and 2 days just for fun.  It was a good visit, but I am flat worn out now after traveling with 2 small children…one of which was a

And no…that is not my child below.  In almost 14 total hours of in-air travel, my baby napped all of 35 minutes.

Here is a more accurate picture of our trip —–> 

Yep…that about covers it!  That’s the only picture I have because it was taken on my phone…

And as we were traveling, I decided to make a mental list of things I think all travelers should keep in mind when traveling….lucky for you, I’m about to share.

1.  Southwest Airlines is great, but please be advised that if your itinerary says “direct” flight…it means that you will still stop along the way.  You won’t have to change planes, but your flight will be considerably longer when you stop in say Nashville, on your way to Denver.  Or you may stop in Houston on your flight from Dallas to Greenville, SC.  This stopping will add considerable time to your flight duration and also make your lap child all the more restless.  Also, the fasten seat belt sign sound will likely wake up your 35 minute sleeping baby, even if he/she does sleep through the landing.

2.  Just because you and your spouse think that your perfume or scented lotion is fantastic and that you should douse yourself in it with reckless abandon, does not mean that your fellow travelers will agree.  Keep in mind that your Chanel #9 in seat 14A mixed with Bath and Body Works Cherry Blossom in seat 14B, mixed with Patchouli in 14C, makes for some serious nausea in 14D across the aisle.  Noone would mind if we all use a little common SCENTS and stick with say….plain old soap.

3.  If a baby near you is yelling happily…do not sneer at the parents because it is making noise.  Be thankful it’s not screaming its’ head off in discontent.

4.  If a baby near you is screaming its’ head off in discontent, do not sneer at the parents because it is screaming bloody murder.  Trust me…the parents are far more mortified than you could possibly be.

5.  If you are a creepy man, do not stare at someones children for long periods of time…or at all for that matter.  Keep in mind, you are creepy and parents are very leery of creepy people.  Especially do not stare at someones child while they are awkwardly having to change a poopy diaper across their laps and the lap of their 5 year old during the flight.  That is really awkward…and you are even more creepy now.  The poop has to go…see #2 for the reason why.

6.  Make sure that if you are a mom traveling with small children that you wear a crew neck tshirt.  You will be doing your very best to keep your lap child somewhere close between seats 14D, E, and F and will likely have some shirt tugging.  Unless you want to flash the creepy man from #5, I suggest that you dress for a very active trip.

7.  Make sure to pack tons of snacks…snacks are very helpful to keep your kids busy.  As are crayons…although those are tricky when you have an active 1 year old who is really just interested in snacking on the crayons as well.

8.  Take refillable water bottles…like a Nalgene or Camelbak bottle.  You can refill them at water fountains and put those little drink mixes to go to add flavor (like Crystal Lite or Koolaid…preferably nothing with red dye.)  Be aware that with the change in cabin pressure though, when you open your drinking-spout-style Camelbak bottle with red dye Koolaid, it will wildly spray its contents all over the sleeping lady in seat 14F.  Thankfully the lady in 13F is a heavy sleeper.  Good thing she likes those satin eye cover thingys.

9. Be nice to your flight attendants.  If so, they will often let you stand in the back to attempt to lull your baby to sleep.  When the baby doesn’t sleep though, they will often allow it to press lighted buttons that show the waste level of the lavatory for 30 minutes or more.

10.  When you finally arrive at your destination, scream that you’re about to throw up and you will get off the plane much faster than if you didn’t.

Glad to be back on my home turf for sure.  Spring has fully sprung and after a trip to the grocery store today, I plan to enjoy it!

Have a great day!

PS.  Some of the above list is fictitious…but a good portion of it is not!  I’m probably not going to spoil the fun by telling you which is which though!  Also, I’m linking here to Top Ten Tuesday on OhAmanda.com for more fun!